A really quick technique to try for an Outward Mindset in practice

Aug 19, 2020

Today I am working at my kitchen table, I have client commitments to complete, emails to answer and this blog to create. In addition, I have four 10-13-year-old boys playing with water balloons in the garden just outside that I am responsible for today (two of them mine). I am writing with one eye and ear on them and one on this text. I can feel my mindset turning inward at the juggle and challenge. When I feel that pressure rising, I have one instant technique I pull out of the Outward Mindset coaching practices; I shift my thinking that is inward called ‘I have to’.

From ‘have to’ work can feel a grind. The inbox pinging is a stress, the customer work I am completing is ‘hard’! I have to (see it!) dig deep for every word as if it weighs heavily on me. If the customer happens to call, I will answer professionally but I feel like I see them as a ‘have to’ pressure; an obstacle to me. If one of my colleagues inadvertently asks for something, they might get an annoyed look and a martyr filled sigh as my overworked ‘have to’ turns to seeing them as an obstacle to my progress.

When I feel I ‘have to’ watch the boys, they are noisy, inconsiderate, they have no idea how much work I have to do. I have to compromise my work experience to juggle their needs and it is so hard! In this version of reality, the boys are hinderance obstacles to me and my needs.

With a one-word shift; I ‘get to’ watch my boys laugh…a lot! Yes, they are loud, but if I need them to quieten down they will with a clear request. I get to honour the friendships and the outside fun they are having, something that when they are stuck on screens, I wish they would do.

I remember, I get to do the work I love whilst being a parent, a part of my life I cherish. I get to have my inbox pinging with new opportunities. Post Covid19, or at least in this lull, I get to try new ways of working. I get to challenge myself in completely new ways whilst the customers around me, my partner, my team and my children remain people to me.

A tiny shift, but today try using ‘get to’ instead of ‘have to’ and see how the way you see those around you might turn.

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