Overview: Why Mindset Matters

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Efforts to change behaviour are always limited by our ability to address and change what drives and motivates behaviour. Explore what makes change efforts 400% more likely to succeed.

Overview: Blind to the Problems I Create

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Discover why we resist seeing the challenges we create for ourselves and others and what can bring us back to reality.

2.1 Two MindsetsS

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In every moment, we either see others as people or as objects. This fundamental distinction changes our experience with others and their experience with us.

2.2 Not a matter of style

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It is not what we do or the style we adopt that ultimately influences others most. No matter what we do on the surface, people can sense how we see and regard them.

Overview: The Lies I Tell Myself

Explore the ways we betray our deepest sense of what others need from us and how we then tell stories to ourselves to shift the responsibility for our actions onto others.

3.1 Betraying Myself

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Our experience of others depends in large part on our willingness to honour our own senses regarding others. When we betray this sense, we create a need to be justified.

3.2 Red Flags and Warning Signals

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When I believe a lie of my own making, it is impossible to get back to the truth again unless there are tell-tale signs of this lie that I can recognise.

3.3 The False Choice

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With an inward mindset, we seem confronted with a false choice between two different courses of action—neither of which are effective.

3.4 Focus on Facts

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This tool provides a simple and effective reality check—a way to sort fact from the self-serving fantasies of the box.

Overview: The Masks I Wear

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Discover the ways we adopt and become invested in false views of ourselves and the way these get in the way of achieving the results we want.

4.1 Better Than and Entitled

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We can find justification by elevating ourselves above others. Once this way of seeing ourselves and others becomes characteristic, we will no longer be focused on results.

4.2 Worse Than Pretending

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The other way we find justification is to see ourselves as worse than others. Concerned that our deficiencies will be discovered, our life becomes a pretense, a performance, a façade.

4.3 Check my Mindset

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This tool outlines a simple process to discover the distortions our inward box styles impose on every situation and uncover new solutions

Overview: Invested in Failure

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We perpetuate conflict—even unknowingly—in our need to feel justified in treating others as objects. We call this collusion, and it is at the heart of conflict.

5.1 Diagnosing the Drama

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We enter collusions to perpetuate our conflicts and create the very problems we complain about.

5.2 Gathering Alies

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One of the easiest and most dangerous ways we justify treating others as objects is by gathering allies—those we recruit to our side of a collusion.

5.3 Resist Being Recruited

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When we see that others matter like we matter, we refuse to be an ally in a collusion—and we send an important message.

5.4 De-Blaming collusion

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After diagramming our collusions, we can go deeper and learn to de-blame that collusion. Working through this process helps us turn outward.

Overview: Becoming Impact Focused

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There is a remarkable power in seeing those we impact as people. When others matter, we will find creative and innovative ways to adjust what we do in order to be more helpful.

6.1 What I Do and Who I Impact

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There is a remarkable power in seeing those we impact as people. When others matter, we will find creative and innovative ways to adjust what we do in order to be more helpful.

6.2 Meet to Learn

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When we turn outward towards those we impact, we will see that learning about what they are trying to accomplish is central to doing our job well. In fact, it’s where we start.

6.3 Who is Affected

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Explore a simple but powerful tool to help you and your teams stay focused on the purpose of your work by keeping those who are affected by your work front and centre.

Overview: What Am I Accountable For

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Having the right capabilities and putting forth the required effort is important, but it is not good enough. When we are outward, we are focused on our impact, not just our output

7.1 Capability, Impact and Effort

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We turn our jobs outward when we identify who is impacted by our work and the degree to which we understand their needs, challenges, and objectives.

7.2 Own My Development

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When we are outward we don’t wait for others to hold us accountable. We take the initiative to schedule, prepare for, and regularly report to our manager.

7.3 Clarify My Roles

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Holding ourselves accountable requires clarity regarding our roles in an organization and where we should be spending our time.

7.4 Meet to Give

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Regardless of our efforts, we can lose sight of others pressures and our impact on them. In order to ensure effective relationships and reduce possible friction, we need to be fully accountable.

Overview: The Source of Influence

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Explore the source and structure of influence—how we see and engage with others in order to influence, including those who seem resistant to change.

8.1 When People Resist Change

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When others don’t respond to our correction, what can we do? Discover key principles to apply in the most challenging of situations

Overview: Bonds That Make Us Free

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urning outward when we have been mistreated is not only possible, it is the only way to claim a future that is impossible when we stay invested in blame

9.1 The Most Important Move

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When we are trapped in collusion, we wait for others to change and turn outward. The truth is, we are simply waiting for others to do what we are resisting doing ourselves.

9.2 Dangerously Blind

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It feels dangerous and risky to make the first move to turn outward with those who are inward. But this is an illusion. The truth is that our safety lies in giving up the blindness of the box.

Overview: Self Improvement Isn't Self Focused

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Our desire to be outward can too easily turn into a self-focused project. Our ongoing work is to stay focused on others. That focus changes both our experience and ourselves.